Have you ever loved someone so much...only to have them shred your heart into what feels like a million tiny pieces? To have them tell you just how much they love you and to want to know why the two of you aren't married, only to have them turn their back on you for someone else? And you try, so hard, to be a good person, to be understanding and supportive of situations in their life only to discover that it was all a huge waste of time, that they had just lied to you, time and again? Just as they had done for as long as you have known them. Your friends and family tell you that you are too forgiving...too nice to someone who has put you through the grinder and back again, more than once. When the hardest thing you had to do was to tell this person-who your heart has loved for over 8 years-to "forget we ever knew each other." And how, even a month after the fact, your heart is still breaking...still reeling from the betrayal...still aching for loving them. Still missing them, the sound of their voice, their laughter.
You spend a lot of time in prayer...searching for an answer as to "why" this happened to you? What lesson were you supposed to learn from this? That you are supposed to turn the other cheek, to forgive 70 x 7 (daily), that you are to love and hate not? How do these Biblical principles apply in situations like this? How do you find peace in the midst of this storm? How do you forgive someone who said they never wanted to hurt you, but...
"Father, help me choose to forgive. To wipe the slate clean and start anew. Hold my broken heart in Your potter hands and reshape it into the heart You meant for it to be. Be my strength when mine is gone. See my heart, the shattered dreams that lay within the fragmented shell. I trust that You have it all worked out, for both our good. That You know the plans You have for our lives and that You will always bring good from the bad. Heal the fractures, soothe the pain and let true, unadulterated love live in each of our separate lives again. Help me to see the One You have set in place for me and not be blinded by a dead love that covers my heart. In Jesus' name, Amen.
