Lessons in the Stepping Stones

Is it time to get up already? I turn over in bed to look at the clock through sleep soaked eyes. No, it's not time to get up yet...it's just happening again. The clock says 3:31. Dear Lord, I'm so tired...please help me fall back to sleep quickly before...too late...the thoughts come pouring into my head like a flooding creek bed overflowing it's banks. No! Please!? And then the tears come, as I curl myself into a ball, as the sobs wrack my body. This has become the normal routine of my nights. Weary from the labor of the day, exhausted from sleepless nights and emotionally drained from the sadness that has embedded itself seemingly into every nook and cranny of my soul and mind, I struggle to control the flood of hot, salty, tears. I begin to pray, as I always do, seeking relief, security, comfort, help, hope, in conversation with my heavenly Father. Daddy God? Yes child. I hurt. I know. I see your pain. Please make it stop. He sighs. We've had this conversation before, child. I know...but it still hurts. Please make it stop. Please take it away. There is a reason for this pain, child. There is a lesson for you in this journey. You will make it through this. And you will come out stronger in the end. I don't think so. Daddy, can't you see and feel my anguish? It's tearing me apart! Please, please do something!

Then I begin to pour out all the hurt, the sadness, the confusion and lack of understanding about the situations that have caused this wound inside of me. He's heard it all before...what seems like a million times.  Still, He listens...and comforts...encourages.  I wonder if the pain will ever subside.

He knew.  Years down the road, the very thing that caused the pain, only pops up once in a blue moon and the heartache is but a memory.  The pain is no longer endured.  The lesson has been learned and another has begun...a different story line, not so much heartache, but still some self doubt.  Daddy? Yes, child? Will this situation ever change?  Will my life ever seem normal again?  Am I making the right decisions? To everything there is a season,  and a time to every purpose under heaven.  But yes, dear one...your life will be normal again. As long as you hear and heed my voice, you are on the right track.  Be patient.  Rest in Me. But Daddy... Trust Me.   Hold fast to My promises.  I have great plans for you...for your life.  I have a hope and a future for you that you would not believe!  Hold fast!

Hold fast! Trust Him! Take each day as a step forward in His plan for your life.  Don't give worry, self doubt or fear a stronghold in your life.  This is what He is longing to impart to each of us.  Every step that we take with Him takes us ten steps closer to His promises than one hundred steps on our own will take us.

Daddy God, thank you for whispering your words of encouragement and hope into our lives.  Help us to lean on you for the strength we need each day.  You said that when we are weak...you show yourself strong.  Help us to see the lessons of our lives for exactly what they are...lessons...stepping stones to the grand and glorious future you have planned for us.  Thank you for holding us close to you always.

Restless Expectancy

Restlessness pervades my body, my mind...the expectancy of what is to come makes me antsy to get to that place. I see the road between where I am now and where I will be, but the journey causes this restlessness. It's all part of the plan, it's all happening in it's time. I trust that. I trust God. I trust the value He places in me and the talents and abilities He has lain deep inside of me before I ever breathed my first breath. "...she is worth far more than rubies." Proverbs 31:10b

I continue to dream of that day...that day that I am walking fully as the person He created me to be. To someday measure up to and exceed the expectations of friends and family...and of myself. His expectations are endless. His promises are concrete. His desires for my life are better and more rapturous than anything I can ever even imagine. I try to dream big dreams, and yet my dreams are so small in comparison to His dreams. I have watched as He has removed those who would cause my gaze to waiver, as He has closed doors on things that were never meant to be. As He has told me "No, child!" over and over again. All because He loves me so much, He doesn't want me to settle for less than His best for my life. So that when He blesses me, it will overflow and pour out onto others. So that when it pours out onto others, it will overflow in them and pour out onto still others. A river that has no beginning and no end...that has a wellspring that never runs dry. This is His desire for each of us. Why do we continually settle for less than what He wants for us? Why do we willingly take second place to this life, when He wants us to be first in this life? To lead by the example He has set before us.

Lord, help me to see the value you see in me. Help me to help others see the value you see in them. Help each of us to see that our meager offerings can be so much more, if we will just let go of it all, and allow you to be in complete control. Help us to see our lives through your eyes, dear Lord. Help us to dream our dreams through your dreams. Help us to walk the path, however long, however short, that you have set before us. Open our hearts, minds, and souls to all that you have planned for us. In Jesus' name, amen!

New Roads to Travel On

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)

I have reached the end of a season in my life, one that has been both a blessing and a burden for the past 8 1/2 years. It took much prayer, laying a "fleece" before God and being still enough to hear what He had to tell me. If I did not trust that this was what He wanted for me, I would not have taken the steps I have, especially with the economic crisis that has saturated America. What a wonderful thing to know that our heavenly Father is not in an economic crisis! To know that He still has cattle on a thousand hills, streets that are paved with gold and precious jewels that adorn the gates of His city! When He says, "It's time!" You better believe that "it's TIME!"

So here I stand, seeing with my human eyes the concerns and responsibilities that lay before me, not knowing, with my human mind how I will make all the ends meet. Here I also stand with my spirit eyes, taking in all the wonder and glory that my Daddy God has in store for me, for those I love, for those I long to be help. With my spirit eyes, I see the provision, the abundance, the blessing...pouring out, overflowing, spilling over onto others. My hope, my trust, my life is in the hands of my loving Lord and Savior. My Provider. My Healer. The Lifter of My Head. In this journey, He is my hope, my joy and my goal.

So now, as I begin this new journey, down this new road, I look forward expectantly to the wonderful things that He has planned for my life, for the lives of my loved ones - family and friends, alike. He cannot bless what we do not give to him freely. Each day I say, "Lord, my life is yours to do with as you please. Mold me, make me into what you want me to be. My life is in your hands!"

Life Path

I believe that we all wonder at some point if the path we are walking in life is the path we are truly intended to be on or if we made a wrong turn somewhere along the way and missed the path that leads us to where we really belong.

It's so easy to get bogged down with where we are. To see no way out of or through the situations we are in, whether it be our jobs, finances, a relationship or some other situation in our life. It seems as though we are stuck as if in mud and mire and cannot move from the course we are on. Take heart!

"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Psalm 16:11

"You broaden the path beneath me so that my ankles do not turn." Psalm 18:36

"Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths..." Psalm 25:4

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." Psalm 119:105

"Listen, my son, and be wise and keep your heart on the right path." Proverbs 23:19

"You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence." Acts 2:28

Throughout the Bible there are references to the paths that we all take. Paths of deception, dishonesty, lust; paths of grace, hope, direction. One thing is prevalent as well...that if we place our lives, our paths, in the hands of Almighty God, that He will direct our steps. We have to be willing and unafraid to change the course of our lives, to alter our steps and direction and to move forward into the life that He has planned for us.

The trials and tribulations that we face day in and day out are not always lessons to be learned; they can be the gentle hand of our heavenly father urging us to simply move. Move out of our comfort zone and out of the darkness that surrounds us. We just have to be willing to step forward, to take a leap of faith into the great unknown, that is well known by God.

Who Am I?

Who Am I? I know that I am a daughter, sister, friend, aunt, co-worker, cousin and niece. But who am I? Who am I when the rest of the world isn't watching? When I'm safely tucked away in my home? When I'm driving down the road? When I'm scared and alone? Who am I when it feels like the world is closing in?

I am the girl who makes up crazy little songs and sings them to my dog while doing housework, working on the computer, or lying in bed praying for sleep to gently wash over me. I am the woman who turns into a little girl while playing hangman with her nieces while waiting for dinner to be served at the restaurant. I am the woman, longing for a love and a family of her own. I am the daydreamer, who builds castles in the clouds while my feet tread upon the reality of this earth. I am the lost soul who hungers and thirsts for living water. I am His creation, beautifully formed by my Master's hands. Every curve of my face, every hair on my head, from the color of my eyes to the length of my fingers...fearfully and wonderfully made.

Lest I forget who I am...He seeks to remind me each day. With the gentle songs of the birds, the brush of wind across my face, the dance of the leaves in the trees...through it all he whispers to me, "You are more lovely than any of these. You are my very heart embodied in flesh and bone. There is no one else like you. No one else who can fulfill the purpose and plans I have for you. Look at yourself through My Eyes...see yourself as I see you." He loves me in spite of myself. He loves me unconditionally, passionately and with so great a love that He gave His life for me. I did nothing to deserve it. I stand and I fall so many times. How can He not just leave me in my heap upon the floor as I lay there for the 40th time after tripping on life, yet again. Why does He stay, gently lifting me again to my feet, steadying me and carrying me forward with Him once again? I do not deserve it...and yet...

...I don't remember this mirror being here. Where did it come from? How long has it been here? I reach out to gently touch the shiny surface, amazed at the beauty of the frame and the clearness of my image. My image...I gasp...and step closer. This cannot be...I am not that beautiful. Yet in this mirror, the image I see reflected is my image as He shines through me. Such beauty is astounding. And amazing. Who knew that this could be who I am? Only the Father, with His Potter's hands knew that this was who I was and who I was meant to be.

"Father God, help me to see myself and others through your loving eyes. To see who you created us to be and not who we currently see in our own stained and broken mirror. Help us to see the beauty of Your creation in us. That we are uniquely and wonderfully created by You, for You and for Your good pleasure. Help us to remember that You want the very best for us....even in the midst of trials and heartache. That you want us to continue to grow and seek you in all that we do. Help us to love each other as well as ourselves as deeply and completely as You love us. And help us to see ourselves and each other, through Your eyes of love. In Jesus' name, amen."

The Heart of the Matter

Have you ever loved someone so much...only to have them shred your heart into what feels like a million tiny pieces? To have them tell you just how much they love you and to want to know why the two of you aren't married, only to have them turn their back on you for someone else? And you try, so hard, to be a good person, to be understanding and supportive of situations in their life only to discover that it was all a huge waste of time, that they had just lied to you, time and again? Just as they had done for as long as you have known them.

Your friends and family tell you that you are too forgiving...too nice to someone who has put you through the grinder and back again, more than once. When the hardest thing you had to do was to tell this person-who your heart has loved for over 8 years-to "forget we ever knew each other." And how, even a month after the fact, your heart is still breaking...still reeling from the betrayal...still aching for loving them. Still missing them, the sound of their voice, their laughter.


You spend a lot of time in prayer...searching for an answer as to "why" this happened to you? What lesson were you supposed to learn from this? That you are supposed to turn the other cheek, to forgive 70 x 7 (daily), that you are to love and hate not? How do these Biblical principles apply in situations like this? How do you find peace in the midst of this storm? How do you forgive someone who said they never wanted to hurt you, but...


"Father, help me choose to forgive. To wipe the slate clean and start anew. Hold my broken heart in Your potter hands and reshape it into the heart You meant for it to be. Be my strength when mine is gone. See my heart, the shattered dreams that lay within the fragmented shell. I trust that You have it all worked out, for both our good. That You know the plans You have for our lives and that You will always bring good from the bad. Heal the fractures, soothe the pain and let true, unadulterated love live in each of our separate lives again. Help me to see the One You have set in place for me and not be blinded by a dead love that covers my heart. In Jesus' name, Amen.

The Inhumanity of Humans - The Humanity of God

Meet Boudreaux. After his bath. After having a full day's worth of food. After being dumped, unceremoniously by the individual who had starved and abused him by trying to fight him. That's all I can assume at this point, based on the scars and fresh marks on his body. Yes, he is a pit bull, but in spite of these atrocities that have been committed against him, he is still loving and friendly. Unfortunately, due to his breed, I am not allowed to provide a home for him - breed restrictions for apartments, you know. And due to the stigma that is attached to his breed, no one else wants to step up and provide a home for him. This picture is from day one with me...his first night at my home. That was Tuesday. Yesterday, I had to take him to my parent's home, because I had to have him out of mine by that deadline. I have called, e-mailed, pestered friends and family alike and frantically tried to find a "no-kill" shelter, a pit bull rescue site, anyone, someone who would give this sweet boy a safe haven from the awful world he has lived in. The Williamson County Humane Society tried to find space for him, but to no avail. They tested him for heart worms - he had none. They implemented their Behavioral Test - he passed with flying colors - no aggressive behaviors. The medical director, when she brought him out was amazed. "He's free of heart worms, no aggressive behaviors, he's very smart - a fast learner! What a sweet dog!" She tried, but wasn't able to find a spot for him - they were full and already over quota for the number of pit bulls they could have at one time in their shelter. I think it broke both of our hearts.

Through it all, Bou (Boo), wags his tale, smiles, and looks at us all with his beautiful tan eyes. So full of hope, so full of love. Unconditional, in spite of what he has been through. So I will keep searching. This week will be for getting him checked out by my vet, getting his shots, heart worm preventative medicine and neutering. Finding out what we need in order to heal the sores on his body from the fighting, what we need for healing any infection that may be in his body from the untreated marks. See how we can fix his broken tail. Try to heal the external. Learning that our love to him and for him appears to have healed the internal. That in just 4 1/2 days, he had already come to recognize my front door as his home, my face, the sound of my voice - me, as belonging to him. Attached. Loved - loving. Unconditional. Not knowing if I will ever hurt him, starve him...he trusts me. Gentle soul meets gentle soul.

Thankful, I am. I work with other gentle souls. They reach out. Try to help. Try to find a loving home for him. And still we search. I will not give up. I will not allow him to be euthanized simply because of his breed. His behavior has spoken so loudly, I cannot see the stigma of his breed.

How like God he is. Rejected. Hurt. Neglected by the very ones he loves the most. That he would do anything for. And still, he loves, unconditionally. Enormously. Without bias. Without regret. Without regard for the wrongs perpetrated on or against him. What a lesson. We as humans, when we are hurt, lash out. We want to hurt the ones who have hurt us, to cause them the same pain they have caused us. But we, as Christians, true Christians - being Christ-like, should love in spite of the pain, in spite of the hurt, the wrongs. What a simple lesson of God's love and forgiveness, shown by a beautiful part of God's creation. Lesson learned, Bou. Thank you.

Please take time to research your local "no-kill" shelters and rescue sites. Volunteer. Donate, be it monetarily or by donating food for the animals. Please be sure to spay or neuter your pets. Every hour, hundreds of pets are euthanized because either no one wanted them, or they just didn't want to invest the time and energy required, into them. I have always felt that when I take on the responsibility of bringing an animal into my home, into my family - they become a part of it for life. It takes each and every one of us being proactive in this quest in order to make this a better world. For us, for our children, for our pets and the other pets that are currently in the system. We need to step up and be responsible citizens. Report abuse. Care for the needy. Step out of our comfort zones and be the hands for God to work through. I am currently looking into volunteering for one of our shelters and am planning out fundraising ideas and food drives in order to be more pro-active in seeing to this need. Won't you do the same, please?